There is all this emotion running through my head. It just won’t stop. The pain won’t go away. The tears won’t go away. I tried. I can’t control it. All I can do is to let it stream down my face. There is nothing one can do. What a wretched fool. Happiness does not exist in this world. Just pain. Don’t worry. It’s not like you can take this pain away from me. There is nothing you can do but be an outside observer while you see me suffer. You can not say anything to take this away. You can only watch. And be helpless, as I am helpless to feel.

Drats, my eyes are swollen and nose is clogged. Let me burrow in my hole. Why could I not just be satisfy with just my loving family and friends. To venture out of that circle has only result in pain and my demise. Nothing to say, nothing to do. The only thing to do is wait while this hurt takes it course. Well at least, if I was dying there would be the option of morphine. But this is like going through life with no form of analgesic for this pain. Man, I must sound very melodramatic now. Cut it out! Grumble.

The scary part about life is putting your feelings in the hands of other people. Why! Because, fuck when you do, you have lost control.

Crap, the music I am listening to isn’t helping. Do you know how embarassing it is to watch tears streaming down your face on the train.