While I was shopping around the Lower East Side today, I bumped into an old friend. A few weeks ago, while I was out with my friend I ended up petting a pitbull. Of course, you don’t realize how dangerous that can be when you’re inebriated. I remembered it was a white pitbull with a brown spot. When I saw it today, I said I remember you. You were trying to go under my skirt the last time we met. And the owner of the dog said “Ah that sounds just like his MO.” In the end, the dog ended up sniffing around the floor. What for, we will never know.