urbanblitz

Alone in this world. A soul of emptiness. No one understands; no one is there. A total disconnect from body and soul. To the world in the temporary state that I live. To hurt oneself it a selfish thing. But we all do it. Mentally and some times physically. No one really knows. Looks are deceiving. It’s all a facade. Nothing to be miss. People to be forgotten. In the end you will be forgotten. Life goes on. But not necessarily yours. A hurt may go and the pain might subside. The emptiness still exist. And just won’t go away. There is too much pressure to live. Must I dwell on this sadness. This sadness that eats me up. The joy of living is just not there. What exist for me is this blackhole of emptiness as everything moves on around me. No one knows. Or peers through the soul of the sadness of this creature. Sadness and emptiness is all I see.

A few people have called me a hipster.  I think not.  It’s such a dirty little word.  Even the boy called me that. WTF.  Why I ask do you call me a hipster.  And he had pointed out my Triple 5 Soul shirt, PUMA sneakers and the Brooklyn Industry bag I was holding.  What!  I think not.  So last night, I had dinner with a dinner club I’m part of.  And I promptly, asked my friend ML if I was a hipster.  ML is one my friends who is a self proclaimed king of hipster. And he’s damn proud of it.  He indicated that it’s probably my glasses in that they’re a bit trendy.  They are Alain Mikli frames.  Is there something wrong in having some fashion sense.  Truthfully, I’m more of a yuppie.  In end we coined the phrase yupster.  Whatever that is.  I’m all confused now.

All because of that darn rascally mussel. I was out and about the town on Monday and had some mussels and frites at the Beligum beer bar. But of course, it just takes one mussel totally flip your stomach. When I got home I end up regurgitating everything till about 3:30 in the morning. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I will of course spare you the details. Probably the most frightening thing was the fact I almost passed out in my bathroom floor after praying to the porcelain gods. I don’t know how bulimics do it. Seriously, my esophagus is in pure pain. Literally, for at least 2 days I was afraid to eat any food. Considering I couldn’t hold anything down for more than 2 minutes. Today, I finally been able to have some solid food. And can I say I’m really psyched. But I’m still a little bit queasy. My body is still adjusting. Solids, please.

Well it’s a bit past midnight right now. Just finish watching a movie and within that hour and half about a good 2 inches of snow has accumulated. While I progress towards my sleep deprivation or one of my bouts of insomnia, I realized none of my friends are online. Frankly, there is nothing on tv except for the Olympics. I’m just putzing around online. I have this funny feeling that I’m not going to want to trek outside tomorrow.

Free at last. Today was first day that trains were running again. Can we say how much this strike has inconvenience all New Yorkers. Over what. Their main point was about a pension for future workers. That’s just insane. What’s more insane is they have the audacity to ask if they can get amnesty from the Taylor law. Crazy talk, that’s what I say. They can ask the New Yorkers that lost their jobs because they couldn’t get to work during strike or the stores they are going to close because they can recover from the strike.

Aside from having cabin fever. I was suffering from some pain in the joints of my hand. There was no way I would have been able to get to see my doctor since she’s in the Upper East Side and I’m in Brooklyn. Darn, transit strike. I finally hiked up there this afternoon. After more through examination, I was diagnosis with tendinitis. Probably caused by pottery amongst other things. Which means I’m going to have to take medication and wear a wrist brace around the house for the next few weeks. Bah hum bug. Now I must see if I can get out of pottery for this semester.

Since my birthday fell on a Monday, I can to have my big shindig on Friday. So I lugged my friends to Lakeside Lounge for my bday shin dig. Why this I choose this venue. It’s because of the photo booth. I wanted all my friends to take silly pictures and hand the strips over to me. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that there would be a musical act at about 10:30 which pretty much scared my friends away. Partially because you couldn’t hear anything to talk. For some strange reason I had a contingence of lawyer at my party. Well about 5 of them were friends of D.I. As I would call them D.I. & co. Ha ha. And there were 3 on my side. A housing, employement and a legal aid lawyer. Very different than the corporate lawyer and the odd man out aka the litigator. Oh wells. In the end it was a lot of fun. With everything that occured this past year, I’m very fortunate to be here to celebrate my 30th with my friend. As I get older, and I know this sounds cliche, but friends are more important than presents.

Should I say my 20s are coming to an end. In about a good 6 hours from now, I will be turning 30. Oh my god! Do I have to enter into this next chapter in my life. I guess I will be one of the last to join my fellow friends in this club.

I can’t believe how fast time has past. It has been about 8 years since my father past away. I really does feel like he was alive just yesterday. I remember painting our apartment the week before he landed in the hospital. And to think that in a week and half he was gone. He was old. If only if he was around. He would have enjoyed seeing my cousin get married. The only big event he experience was my graduation from college. But sometimes I think he knew that he was near death. I sadly miss him.

I realized the strangest thing about myself when I was working out at the gym. I really hate looking at myself in the mirror. As some people get enough of it. I kind of shun it. Mirror is a very deceptive object. Perhaps that it can produce an identical image with the possible distortions. Or is that something that it’s all in the mind. In the end I really don’t like mirrors.

Today was the day, I was to hack off my hair. I arrived at the salon at about noon. And spend the next 2 hours getting my hair highlighted and processed. During this whole time, I’m busy knitting away. Then at about 2:30 pm I was swept off to another chair to have someone cut my hair. Snip.. snip.. cut.. trim.. and here comes the shearing sheers. My hair is about shoulder length. Totally love the color. As for the cut, eh! it’s okay. Probably something that will look better when I style it and when it gets a bit longer.