urbanblitz

Strange things always happen in AM New York. Especially when you’re escorting the parental units. My mom and I were heading over to Port Authority to pick up my relatives from out of town. When we saw this transvestite changing on the train. Even though she/he was pretty rack was pretty stacked. She/he still had the face of a man. And for god sakes, what decent woman would wear a lime green bra. So my mom asked what she/he was doing. And I said changing, and most likely a prostitute. On top of her skimpy outfit was a mini skirt and knee high boots. I don’t think I

This got to stop. Fat people. Obese folk if you want to be politcally correct. Eiter way they go to stop sitting next to me on the trian. It is like when they see a little person they go “Oooh… Let me sit there.” Seriously, whenever the train moves I get squashed, pancake, kaput. I think you get the picture. Come on it’s time to save the little people.

I was returning home pretty late this past Sunday. And as I usually do on the train, I decided catch some sleep on my ride home. A bunch rambunctious kids got on the train. They got off a few stops later. But just before the train door closed they threw in a bottle of soda. Which happen to explode right in front of me. I was doused in soda from head to toe. I was not a very happy camper. My first thought was WTF. And pissed me off even more that there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Grr…

I was on my way home, when this guy had sat next to me on the train. He had the nerve to move his ass into my half of the seat. Like I wasn’t going to notice. Seriously, just because I’m tiny, doesn’t mean I don’t my space. Well anyway, I gave him the stare. The WTF stare. You better get out of my seat if you don’t want me to break out some whoop ass. Ha ha. Anyway, he quickly move back into his seat when he realized the wrath of the wabbit. Of course during this whole exchange, the MTA woman sitting across from me just looked at me and chuckles. That’s right! You don’t mess with the little dogs.

Normally, when I get on the train I usually end up leaning against the door with my nose buried in some book. But today, I lucked out, and found a seat. And trust me when I say there are some serious straphangers that take the seat very seriously. They can be quite vicious. Just imagine a bunch of woman at a shoe sale. It’s a very scary sight. Well anyway, when the train pulled into the Canal street station, everyone around me got up. It was a bit amusing.

Okay, I’ve been pretty cranky lately. But in general, one of my biggest pet peeves is personal space, especially on the train. Kind of ironic since we’re more or less packed in there like a bunch of sardines. Seriously, this 6 foot woman kept on stepping on me during my whole commute. Dude! I wanted to whip out some whoop ass. It would like a scene out of the Upper East Side, where all the little dogs start shit with the big dogs. ha ha =) I tell you, never mess with the little dogs.

Pan handlers never learn their lessons. Don’t they realize that we’re already onto their scam. So forget the sob story, we just don’t buy it.

Scenario # 1

This woman walked down in my car on 4 train. So what’s her story. I’m unemployed and I have a child to support. Well then get a job. There are plenty of public assistance programs offered by the federal government. In addition, she could probably seek out help from organizations like Dress for Success. Worse case scenario, she could probably get a job flipping burgers at McDonalds. In the end, commuters turned a deaf ear to her story. She continued down the car in desparation, befuddled by the lack of donations. Seriously,most New Yorkers are unemployed. And at this point we’ve grown cynical of these pan handlers like her. Oh wells. Maybe she have better luck on the next car or on tourist train line.

Scenario # 2

After transferring to the next train home. I’ve encountered one of the regular pan handlers. It’s the guy from United Homeless Organization. Doesn’t he realized that we’ve all heard his pitch about a million times, at least twice a day for 365 days. By golly! Do you think we’re dumb and don’t know you’re just another con artist. I guess not!

A few years ago, I accidentally dropped my monthly metrocard in the postal mail box. I had about 3 weeks left on the card. And went to the post office to inquire if they found it, they said there was no card in the mail box. Conspiracy, I say. Someone must have took it. Well anyway, let’s get back to the story. This past Sunday, I had to run to the store my mum. She told me this particularly shop would open at 10 am. So I headed over there, and it turns out the store was not opening until about 11 am. I know, just get to the point. Anyway, I saw this metrocard on the floor, and thought it was kind of out of place. So I picked it up. I didn’t there would be any money on the card. When I got to the train station, I swipe the card to check balance. And it turned out it is an unlimited monthly metrocard, with about 3 weeks left on it. I guess things do come back full circle when you need it to. Fate does work in strange ways.

Yes, it’s that time again. You knew it was just a matter of time before I had another subway story. It’s kind of hard to avoid during rush hour. Anyway, this morning when I got a train, there was guy talking on his cell phone. I’m pretty much use these kinds of people on the train. But he was quite loud and obnoxious. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he was inebriated. And he was. II was leaning against, the door, anticipating that his signal would be cut off when we entered the tunnel. Hence, the end of his obnoxious mundane conversation. The funny thing was, when he lost signal, he had a look of confusion. For god sakes, any cell phone user knows that their signals in the tunnel. Though, it was still funny watching him try to make a call in the tunnel. In the end, he just leaned against the wall with a look defeat.

Okay, that was a pretty bland story. But you just had to be there.

Being unemployed, there is one thing I don’t miss. It’s none other then the infamous NYC rush hour.

Let’s breakdown today’s scenario. I had an interview in Morningside Heights ( located on Upper West Side, 125th Street). Since I was travelling from Brooklyn, I thought I anticipate a commute of 2 hour, just in case. Thank god.

Right after, we crossed the bridge ( this where usual train congestion occurs ) we pull into Canal Street, which is the first station in Manhattan on the Q train. The train I was on, halted to a complete stop in the tunnel before the 14 Street - Union Square stop.

Train Conductor: Sorry for the inconvience, a local train is crossing in front of us. Please be patient, we will be moving shortly.

(5 minutes later)

Train Conductor: There’s been a fire at Lexington Avenue. All Q, W, N and R trains are experiencing major delays. Please be patient.

(another 5 minutes later)

Train Conductor: Some local train will be crossing in front of us. Please be patient

(another 5 minutes later)

Me:Tapping foot. Looks out window, sees about 5 local N and R trains cross in front of us. Looks frustrated. Argh! Man, I’m going to be late for my interview. Why does this always happen right after we get off the bridge. I have no damn cell phone reception).

(Finally, 10 minutes later the train pulls into the 14 street - Union Square station)

Train Conductor:

You might want to take the local train across platform. They’re probably going to be moving before us.

So, I got off the Q train to hop onto the N local. As it pulls into 23rd street, the train conductor makes another annoucement about delays on the local train. At this moment, I give up. I hop off the train at 34th street, to take the D train to the Upper West Side.

Initial Route

Duration time: 1 hour and 5 minutes

Alternative Route

Duration time: 1 hour and 40 minutes

Well, I got to my interview on time. But my commute was hellish.

No wonder, I’ve been feeling calmer these days. It’s because I haven’t had to deal with the hassle of the commute from hell. Of course, people would get agitated during rush hour. We’re all packed in the trains like sardines, especially during the summer. Thank god, they put air conditioning on the train, or I might have to hand someone a Degree deodrant stick.